Most of the time I don’t REALLY know what I’m doing.

Today I woke up, made my usual oatmeal and drank some delicious coffee, sat down at the computer to read The Huffington Post as usual, and then I paused. I started to think about what I actually HAD to do today - there wasn’t really much I could think of. Last week I was busy as hell and this week has been much more calm. But then I thought, most of the time I don’t really know what I’m doing anyways. This can be applied for most things in my life.

I’m a designer, a good one I think, but 50% of the time I don’t really know what I’m doing and somehow it always gets done and the clients are happy (usually, ha). I’m a musician, but honestly I really don’t play guitar that well and sometimes I hate the sound of my own voice. I like to paint and doodle and think I know how to make jewelry, which I like to give to my friends as presents. It always seems as if the ones I dislike the most are always the favorites of others. That’s usually the case isn’t it? So, back to my thought of not knowing what I’m doing, my curiosity lies in the question - do other people know what they’re doing? I’m guessing I’m not alone. Not knowing what you’re doing, whether it’s in your plans for the day, the job you’re at, the relationship you’re in, your friends, your career, your family…it’s all up in the air on a trail-and-error basis.

Being a taurus, and a girl, I over-think and over-analyze literally everything. It’s hard to come to terms with the idea that you’re probably not going to be the best designer, the best musician, the greatest friend/sister/daughter on the planet, the smartest and wittiest girl in the northwest…but then, who is? No one, and at the end of the day, who wants to be all those things and HAVE to know what they’re doing all the time. Boring. I’ll take the road most travelled and try to be content with not know what I’m doing most of the time…

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